Category Archives: innocent bystanders

dv awareness: sticks and stones and words hurt

The labels were brutal for me. They were what I took into my heart when I was young and changed the way I viewed myself long before the abuse began. And it was more difficult to overcome the emotional damage than it was the physical damage.

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

So many of us have been raised with the false words of the famous rhyme, “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.” This is so untrue. Words hurt more than most people realize and inflict wounds on the souls of many from youth to adults…

Sticks and stones…
may break your bones…

but words won’t hurt you…
has NEVER been true.

FOR many words spoken…
can make you broken…

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repost: haters gonna hate; my haters motivate

Nuts. Now I have to wipe the Starbucks off my keyboard. But Is this, like, the perfect way to start a Tuesday? Not to mention the last day in September?


People, amirite?  Where do they get off?

On my way to the office this morning, I received a notification from Instagram that I had received a direct message/picture from someone who I rarely, if that, communicate with.  She was married to my cousin, who lives out of state, and with whom I don’t really have that close of a relationship with either.  I kinda got happy, thinking she must be sending me some supportive or encouraging quote, since that’s all I really post on Instagram.

But instead I received this:

IMG_7085 (1)

I was pretty floored.  I mean, I never talk to her.  I have never personally discussed with her me wanting to get sober and remain sober, I don’t have regular conversations with her, I don’t know what her daily routine is like, I don’t know what she’s going through in her life, I don’t know if her job is stressful or…

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repost: how big of a deal is an alcoholic slip?

Josie at themiracleisaroundthecorner posted a very thoughtful piece on Dr. Silkworth’s discussion of an alcoholic “slip” that appeared in the January 1947 AA Grapevine. I strongly encourage you to read on, particularly if you’re not planning to “slip” or anything.


Polarized would be the word I choose to describe this morning’s meeting, and never before have I had a chance to do that!

This being the fifth Monday in the month of September, I did a little research and came up with an unusual article to use as this morning’s reading selection.  Originally published in 1947 in the AA magazine Grapevine, “Slips” was written by Dr. William D. Silkworth, an American medical doctor who was tremendously influential in the founding of the 12-step program Alcoholics Anonymous.  Silkworth’s position in this article is that a relapse, or “slip,” to an alcoholic can be compared to the cardiac patient who, after time spent abiding by the rules of his condition, slowly but surely reverts to his old lifestyle that caused the heart attack.  In other words:  alcoholics are human beings first and foremost, and the poor decisions made by an alcoholic are…

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repost: the cold never bothered me anyway

Paul at Message In a Bottle swings for the fences on this stellar post concerning letting go. Here’s just a bite-size morsel:

When I clutch onto things that don’t serve me, consciously or unconsciously, I am either causing more pain or discomfort in my life, or I am limiting myself. Or both. I am also taking energy away from the things that I could be doing. When I feel in tune with what my heart or spirit tells me, I feel serenity. Even if it’s tough at first, or there is fear. When I am out of joint with where I am supposed to be, I feel it. I know when I am not in tune when I get that knotted feeling in my gut. When I hear that tiny voice of reason / conscious contact telling me that I shouldn’t be doing X, Y or Z. I know I am swimming upstream when things seem to be an unnecessary struggle.

I strongly suggest sitting down, pondering and digesting this entire thought-provoking tract.

Message in a Bottle



If you’re a parent, you’re familiar with that closing line from the Frozen soundtrack hit “Let it Go”.  For those of you who don’t have children, and haven’t heard the song…I envy you.  You are on terra firma.  The rest of us are plunged into an icy abyss of relentless repeats of that song being played by our wee ones.  Or at least I am.  My two boys listen to that soundtrack ad nauseum. I have practically memorized the songs and lyrics through osmosis.  I have absorbed the Disney-ness of those tunes and I am not sure where I sit with that.  I have mentioned my helplessness to others, and they have been cheeky in reminding me to just “let it go”.  Hardy har har.

But they are on to something.  I really did have to let it go.  I had to surrender to the fact that the boys…

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