repost: the more i know, the less i believe

Succinctly written post from Paul W at 12 the Hard Way on the difference between truth and reality:

. . . these pillars of truth that I constructed . . . were hard reminders that everything’s stacked against me, that things will never go my way, and that there’s a secret society of people bent on destroying me from within. They’re called friends and family.  There’s an elaborate underground network of all the people in my life, and they’re all making sure that I’m kept in the dark, and that what’s really going on is never known to me.  On bad days I assume that the program’s in on it too.

Indeed. Read the whole thing.


nice thought


For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today well lived
makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day.
― Sanskrit Proverb

the ‘gift’ of hindsight.


Indeed. I’ve come to the conclusion in my sobriety that there is a profound difference between intelligence and wisdom. Here’s a newsflash: We are not the center of the universe, and our decisions do affect others. Innocent people do get hurt when others make decisions that are selfish and self-centered. Yet God holds the issue of choice to be holy, and therefore he will not interrupt our utterly sacred ability to make choices – even when they’re profoundly wrong, even when they’re dangerous, and even when they hurt innocent people.

But in the middle of all that, I’ve learned that God is ever merciful — and God says his mercy will compensate me for the losses I’ve suffered in my life.  I cannot live my life as though certain things never happened to me.  They did, and God is not going to give me a lobotomy or amnesia to erase the past to make the present easy.  He’s not going to wave a wand and make it all go away.  To do so would deprive me of the beauty and power and ultimate divine purpose of the Cross.  While God will not let me get away with a life of pretending, he will enable me to live life in spite of what has happened, and beyond what has happened.  This is what the healing journey is all about for me.

I believe He wants to do the same for everyone, no matter what their struggles may be.

weak then strong?

Right out of the gate I can tell you that — as a guy — I really can’t speak into the whole hysterectomy thing. On another front, I can say I’m in the middle of getting all my daily drug dosages balanced so I can function on a somewhat natural level with no sudden surprises. Sort of a “better living through chemistry” approach toward life. That being said, I still have days where I prefer curling up on the couch holding to a regular breathing pattern than doing much of anything else. Tar Heel’s on-target writing today is a much-needed reminder that I’m not in this alone.

Ex Booze Hound

So, let me get this straight…when I am weak then I am strong?! Say WHAT?

There is this really cool author named Paul who lived about 2000 years ago that wrote about this. I am paraphrasing here, but the gist of it was that Paul got boastful and basically egotistical about some stuff then got a thorn in his side. This thorn hurt like H-E-double hockey sticks. He pleaded with God to remove the thorn but God ignored him. Finally, God answered Paul with, “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul later says that he will go on boasting about God’s grace because when he is weak he is strong. Hmmmmm….

Today I had the proverbial thorn in my side. I am still fighting physical pain and a pretty deep depression after having a total hysterectomy two months ago. Hubby was still on the…

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