I really appreciate the post from alcoholfree2016 on the self-defeating belief that moral or spiritual perfection /pərˈfekSHəˌnizəm/ is somehow attainable in our lifetime… if we simply strive for it. Fortunately, she pops that balloon rather quickly:
‘Perfectionism’ doesn’t mean that you are , or even think you can be, perfect. It means you beat yourself up when you are NOT perfect.
Which given that no-one is perfect, you can always do better, and the range of tasks and things one needs to do every day is so vast …. it means beating yourself up about everything, every single day.
Go read the who thing, of course. And she has a very helpful chart there on how the unrealistic desire for perfection easily leads to depression. So go. Now.
Simply put, this is a repost — an amazing repost — from one of my favorite bloggers from across the Pond. As I type this on my Toshiba laptop, functioningguzzler is observing her 11th month sober, and she wrote a straight-from-the-heart, honest post noting for each sober month “eleven reasons why being sober really does feel like magic.”
So… I’m just going to tease with the first two reasons, because I know these are more than enough to swing on by her awesome site for the other nine. Seriously, how could you not?
- LIFE – Living under the hazy cloud of being an alcoholic isn’t living, I was just turning up and going through the motions with very little feeling involved.
- FEELINGS – The GOOD & the BAD emotions, I’m feeling them both now and sadly it’s impossible to have one without the other but that’s okay because I am dealing with them and no longer burying them.
Honestly, from my 8-years-9-months of sobriety, I had sorta forgotten what a lot of that felt like. Best of all, though, functioningguzzler has included in her list “the things that ARE better and things that I am working on to be better.”
Most excellent reading. We are all on this healing journey together.
via Why I Changed My Twitter Handle, Again
But a lot has changed in the past few years. I’ve grown comfortable in my own skin. I’ve learned that nobody gives a shit what’s in my glass at a party or a work happy hour. They just want me to be there. And more importantly, I’ve learned not to give a shit about it. I’ve gotten comfortable with my status as a person in long term recovery.
Go read the whole thing. It’s outstanding.
via Dear Me, Sent With Love, From Me — Functioningguzzler
It’s time we had a little talk, I’ve been wanting to for such a long time but you have always been so distant. As soon as someone came along that could of been good for you I have watched with sadness as you have struggled. I have seen you wanting so desperately to let them […]
via How to Avoid the Trap of Family Roles
- Choose your part
- Don’t believe everything you think.
- Keep some people in your pocket.
An excellent post from one of my go-to bloggers. Get another cup of coffee and go read her outstanding insights on simply getting through that “special” time of the year. One thing I caught on to real quickly, though, was that these three uber-critical components to managing relationships just happen to be good year round. And you don’t even have to buy specials cards for everyone.
via Festive Season My Arse — Functioningguzzler
I was thinking in the last couple of days that I really don’t have anything to say on here at the moment. This got me thinking further because I generally always have something even if it’s dumb or a rambling mess. Now I realize that the reason I don’t FEEL like I have anything to say is because internally I am shutting down. Previously I have had alcohol to lean on and numb myself over this period but this time I don’t have that crutch. […]