daily reflection: do i have a choice?

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent.


My powerlessness over alcohol does not cease when I quit drinking. In sobriety I still have no choice — I can’t drink.The choice I do have is to pick up and use the “kit of spiritual tools” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25). When I do that, my Higher Power relieves me of my lack of choice—and keeps me sober one more day. If I could choose not to pick up a drink today, where then would be my need for A.A. or a Higher Power?


3 thoughts on “daily reflection: do i have a choice?

  1. Hello my friend, I’m going to throw in a curve ball here as I’m keen to get your views. It’s so hard in writing sometimes because you can’t gauge someone’s tone or look on their face or mannerisms, so I’m putting this to you as I would if you and I were having a coffee and engaging in a positive and interesting conversation!

    First to re-establish my views on AA: wonderful, simply wonderful. Helps countless alcoholics find and maintain sobriety. Absolute godsend and life saver for many, many, many. I have nothing negative to say.

    OK, now then, here’s my view that I’m keen to get your thoughts on! I choose not to pick up a drink. I feel it’s entirely my choice when it comes to that first one anyway. I also know that over the 15+ years I drank HEAVILY I deep down wished I could stop yet felt unable to. The difference for me is how my view on alcohol changed – I realised it didn’t do any of the things for me I thought it did. So I suppose rather than saying “I choose not to drink” it’s more accurate to say I see no point. And I don’t need will power to stop myself from doing something I see no point in doing. But my point is, for me AA or anything else is nothing to do with that (as amazing as AA is), it’s down to how I don’t want to drink as I know it does nothing for me. Well, 15-20 years of extensive “research” would suggest it only ever harmed me but having said that I knew that all along, it’s just I still wanted to drink because I thought it brought something to my life. When I realised it doesn’t and never did, my desire to drink all but disappeared.

    There is so much to entangle here. Another blogger I follow put it in a really good way and I think I got it. Just wanted to pick your brains too. I suppose it’s down to whether we get sober through AA or a different way.

    Hope you don’t mind! I just find it interesting how we all find sobriety.

    Anna x

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    • How cool! If it’s any consolation, I’m doing my computer stuff this afternoon at one of the Starbucks I frequent on the Indianapolis southside, so in a very weird way we are getting that cup of coffee together. Don’t know about you, but I feel better already. Actually, I’m probably just excited because we’re supposed to get 3″ of snow Friday night and another inch Saturday morning. This will be our first snow of this entire winter season. Hard to believe, I know, but it’s 56 tropical degrees (13 degrees celcius) with a sunny sky, so we’ll see what happens.

      Now… I’m with you on this whole choice thing, K? I choose not to drink. I’ve made this choice for nearly 9 years. If I believed I had been born with my father’s “genetic” weakness for alcohol, I couldn’t have made such a choice nearly so completely. Drugs were never a problem with me, but had I been born with my older brother Stephen’s “genetic” weakness for medicating through heroin and coke, I’m sure I couldn’t have made such a choice nearly so completely. Food was never a problem for me in that I have gone from 180 lbs. (11.25) to 400 (25), and done so repeatedly, but then, had I been born with my older sister Kate’s “genetic” weakness for medicating through food, I’m sure I couldn’t have made such a choice nearly so completely.

      Following me so far? Here’s a point of clarification: Speaking purely for myself and absolutely not for Club East in any capacity, I do not believe in my case there is any specific connecting point genetic to alcohol. Period. That being said…

      To what did I become addicted? Perhaps a more precise question is: What was my life-dominating “genetic” addiction? It’s obvious I had at least one, and most likely several more. For me, it was sexual issues with opposite- and same-sex relationships. Genetic? Abso-freaking-lutely not. Stephen, Kate, and I all developed serious addictions, but we were not born with born with a gene that determined we would do these specific things. But born with a genetic inclination simply to addictive behavior, should we decide to surrender? Why not? Genetically, we’re all a mess anyway, right?

      Hope all this helps. And I hope you like the Starbucks. 😉

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