From author and researcher Victor Yocco at thefix comes an excellent article on setting boundaries, something that few, if any, addicts tend to really have much of a grasp on.
People with addiction issues are not used to setting boundaries, especially when those boundaries involve behaviors we have reinforced for years.
I spent years violating boundaries as a drunk. Particularly when it came to relationships. Piss me off and I’d become belligerent. Let me drink all night and I’d throw up on your carpet. Invite me to a party and I’ll embarrass you in front of your friends. Weddings? Absolutely! Sign me up as the drunkest attendee. For drunks, the people who let us violate their boundaries are the ones we come back to over and over again.
Ah… but sobriety really turns things upside down… or rightside up, I guess is the case. Yocco does a solid job of presenting his own decisions in going sober, and boundary-setting issues with the girlfriend who became his wife.
Good article with some solid insights. And it ends well. So got check it out.