I really appreciate the post from alcoholfree2016 on the self-defeating belief that moral or spiritual perfection /pərˈfekSHəˌnizəm/ is somehow attainable in our lifetime… if we simply strive for it. Fortunately, she pops that balloon rather quickly:
‘Perfectionism’ doesn’t mean that you are , or even think you can be, perfect. It means you beat yourself up when you are NOT perfect.
Which given that no-one is perfect, you can always do better, and the range of tasks and things one needs to do every day is so vast …. it means beating yourself up about everything, every single day.
Go read the who thing, of course. And she has a very helpful chart there on how the unrealistic desire for perfection easily leads to depression. So go. Now.
Simply put, this is a repost — an amazing repost — from one of my favorite bloggers from across the Pond. As I type this on my Toshiba laptop, functioningguzzler is observing her 11th month sober, and she wrote a straight-from-the-heart, honest post noting for each sober month “eleven reasons why being sober really does feel like magic.”
So… I’m just going to tease with the first two reasons, because I know these are more than enough to swing on by her awesome site for the other nine. Seriously, how could you not?
- LIFE – Living under the hazy cloud of being an alcoholic isn’t living, I was just turning up and going through the motions with very little feeling involved.
- FEELINGS – The GOOD & the BAD emotions, I’m feeling them both now and sadly it’s impossible to have one without the other but that’s okay because I am dealing with them and no longer burying them.
Honestly, from my 8-years-9-months of sobriety, I had sorta forgotten what a lot of that felt like. Best of all, though, functioningguzzler has included in her list “the things that ARE better and things that I am working on to be better.”
Most excellent reading. We are all on this healing journey together.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 19
It’s usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I’m working to stay sober, I’m celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It’s often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It’s outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.’s Twelve Steps.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.