from recovery 102: happiness isn’t something i actually “hate” per se

From Robert Crisp at recovery 102 comes a truly splendid way to close out the first month 2018.

I have an idea where my inability to feel happiness (or joy or whatever positive emotion you can think of) comes from. It’s wrapped up in my childhood and my home. I accept that. Certain things happened that changed my emotional trajectory, and I have my own brain chemistry to thank for clinical depression and other issues. I’m learning, very slowly, to recognize joy and not run from it. I laugh more easily. I’m not as jittery around overwhelmingly positive, energetic people.

“I’m not as jittery around overwhelmingly positive, energetic people.” That one reached out from my screen and smacked me right across the face. Really?? Man, I would love to be where Robert Crisp is right now. I say that because I understand the italicized emphasis in “…not as jittery…” draws attention to the fact this is a work in progress. For that, I think it’s important to be in the presence of overwhelmingly positive, energetic people whenever I can handle it. They are certainly part of my healing.

That being said, such people still tend to drive me straight up the freaking wall unless I have some sort of advance warning [“Danger, Will Robinson! Fiercely compelling, dynamic young lady at the snack bar!”] so I can brace myself. I can assure you at the end of the day Mr. Crisp is quite correct. The key, of course, is to simply keep working the program. It’s pretty much all we have at this point anyway, isn’t it?

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About greg w

I believe chocolate in virtually any configuration is the finest dessert in the history of mankind. I believe my wife is the sexiest woman in the world. I believe modern capitalism will never be replaced by a different -- or better -- form of economics. I believe in clutch hitting in baseball. I believe the Kimber 1911 .45 ACP is the finest handgun ever made in America. I believe the Mossberg Flex 500 pump-action 12 gauge shotgun is the best home defense ever made in America. I believe Tom Waits is the best songwriter of my generation. I believe unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. As CS Lewis once beautifully wrote, I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. I believe that, on balance, Christianity has done more good for humans than bad. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant, With that being said, I believe there is a profound difference between knowledge and wisdom. I believe if I yell at the TV during a Colts game, they will play better. Finally, I believe I am in long-term recovery from a number of deep-seated issues that supported and drove my addictions.