FEAR AND FAITH
The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other conditions of serious insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion — well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263
Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I’m experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith — and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power — helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.
Yesterday’s daily reflection touched on fear, specifically having a healthy fear vs simply ignoring life and intentionally ignoring fear.
The program speaks of the higher power in however you see that higher power and your ability to give your fear to that higher power helps to “free” yourself of fear.
To me, this is another way of accepting the items in your life that you cannot change while growing awareness of changing the things in your life that you can. Fear and Faith.
We are recovering addicts. That is us. We can choose to allow the fear of consequence from previous actions in our life to hold us down like an anchor or we can accept the fact that those items in our life are in our past and we cannot change those.
Early on in recovery, one thing I notice a lot of people struggling with is this need to see instantaneous positive reactions from those around them. Why shouldn’t they see positive reactions from those around them? The addict is finally clean. They have changed! So why are they still met with skepticism?
An addict growing angry over this skepticism is a major hurdle to get over. An early-recovering addict has to get past the mindset of “instant gratification”. That is the mindset that helped foster the addiction in the first place. You want an immediate escape from life? Grab a drink or a drug. You want to avoid responsibility? Run to a bar. This instant gratification is as much a part of the disease as the drug or drink itself.
Early on in recovery, it is important to realize that recovery from addiction is a lifestyle and a behavioral change. Realizing Faith and Fear and using those principles from “As Bill Sees It” to help change some behaviors that are not conducive for a recovery are critical.
A recovering addict will realize that the reason they are met with skepticism is because they have created an untrustworthy lifestyle. While friends and families are no doubt hopeful that “this time” is “the time” that recovery “sticks”, they also are harboring emotions and feelings from however other many times that recovery did not stick and the dishonesty and challenges that came with that.
Once a recovering addict realizes this and accepts that they cannot change the way other people view their recovery, it all becomes easier. Simply make the next right decision and as the recovering addict continues to show this time is, in fact, different more and more relationships will continue to grow and mend.
So don’t allow fear to be a setback. A healthy fear of your addiction is needed in recovery. However, realize the difference between a healthy fear and a fear over items in life that you cannot control and use your faith and awareness to let go of those fears that you cannot control and control the items in your recovery that you can; such as going to meetings and staying clean.
If you need us, we are here. All you need to do is call or come: