for those who just don’t get that whole 9th Step thingy

IMG_43370399849212This is why we take the Steps one at a time and in the order they’re in. There’s actually a reason for all that. It’s not just this arbitrary order that Bill and the Doctor decided on over coffee after a meeting one night. There was actually a method to their anal-retentive madness. This is how it all works. Saying I’m sorry isn’t going to fix the other person. Sorry, but it was never intended to do so. It’s not going to take away the pain of what I did, no matter how much I want it to, no matter how much I think it ought to. That’s where honesty comes into the healing process. Am I honest about my healing or am I looking for an easy way out? Do I really understand that some of the people I damaged in my brokenness are just not going to be all that impressed with my recovery efforts. Do I understand that it would suit them quite well if they never saw me again… that never having to confront me again in any way, shape, or form would in fact be part of their recovery?

Tough stuff. But it goes like that sometimes. Not always, certainly. But sometimes.

This entry was posted in healing journey, recovery on by .

About greg w

I believe chocolate in virtually any configuration is the finest dessert in the history of mankind. I believe my wife is the sexiest woman in the world. I believe modern capitalism will never be replaced by a different -- or better -- form of economics. I believe in clutch hitting in baseball. I believe the Kimber 1911 .45 ACP is the finest handgun ever made in America. I believe the Mossberg Flex 500 pump-action 12 gauge shotgun is the best home defense ever made in America. I believe Tom Waits is the best song writer of my generation. I believe unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. As CS Lewis once beautifully wrote, I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. I believe that, on balance, Christianity has done more good for humans than bad. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. And I believe if I yell at the TV during a Colts game, they will play better.

One thought on “for those who just don’t get that whole 9th Step thingy

  1. carrythemessage

    Love that plate analogy. You are absolutely right that the steps are in order for a reason. Step 8 is all about willingness as it is about the list. I’ve been blessed to have had only great experiences with amends (so far). I imagine I may have one where they aren’t interested. But as long as we make the approach and clean up our side, then it’s all good. Amends aren’t apologies – I never said sorry to anyone in my amends, but asked what I could do to make things right. And then did them. And that’s the rub – amending our ways.

    Thanks for this. 🙂

    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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