repost: dreaming….



I had a drinking dream last night. We were having a party and the wine was flowing and along the way I decided one glass wouldn’t hurt…which turned into many glasses, shots, etc.
I woke up in the dream and thought…I don’t have to tell anyone. I can still celebrate my year at AA in December. I got out of bed and went to the kitchen, full of bottles, and drank again.
I woke up this morning panicked. Was it real….did I drink…??? The relief that it was s dream was overwhelming. Because in the dream I was filled with shame, anxiety and compulsion. Immediately. And I could see that one night would never be it for me. It would just be a return to self-destructive drinking.

I’m thankful for these dreams, even if they do freak me out. Recent days have has a lot of talk about relapse in…

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