repost: feeling cocky

Sober only since August 25th, feelingmywaybackintolife has continually impressed me with her intentions to deal honestly and squarely with her addiction. To wit: here’s an issue I typically see addressed on sites where the blogger has been sober for at least a year.


Yes. That’s it, I have come to another stage in dealing with my addiction and this time it is about feeling cocky.  Thinking: if it is this easy I might as well have another sip – see if it really is that bad. No fuss, just drink like a normie and get on with my life.

Not good. I know it is a Big Trap. Happy secretangel got to the subject before I was even aware I had it. 🙂

I am getting curious. Or lazy, or bored, or tired. I feel I put more control on my intentions than needed to, I don’t know, prevent cravings? Suppress drink think? I don’t know. I do something, I call it vigilance, and I use it not to drink. It is a continuous scanning of intentions, thoughts, feelings, wants, likes, dislikes, cravings and actions. I am getting tired of it.

I would…

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repost: october 18, 2014 (this day)

Straight up post from the always challenging old-timer Lydia at Don’t Drink and Don’t Drive on the character defect of lying. Read the whole thing, but here’s a sample:

I’m reading a book about lying.  I’m reading it because, as an investigator, I’m often trying to discover the truth about what happened from people who would rather I didn’t.  Reading about the way we individually view lies and lying made me jump to the program of AA… Active alcoholism taught me to lie as much as I needed to get what I wanted, which was a slow kind of suicide.  AA taught me to tell the truth in ever-increasing circumstances and situations and to consider carefully the content of my character.

This is good stuff that aims for the heart from one of the most respected AA bloggers out there I track on. Here’s a touch from her bio, but you’ll want to spend more time on her blog getting a handle on her credentials:

I went to my first AA meeting in 1978, and I had my last drink to date in 1984. I was just under 22 years old at that time. I have lived more than half of my life sober in AA, and all of my adult life has been spent this way. I feel beyond a doubt that it is the AA program and people that have enabled me to live to any good purpose, and that I owe it my very life.

Check the links on Lydia’s site. as well. It’s a gold mine of information you’ll keep coming back to.