repost: antidotes for worrying

Please. Stop and read this entire post from primrose at taking a new path right now. Get another cup of coffee and a scone or chocolate chip cookie or some other almost acceptable drug and read the whole thing. But here’s the lure:

“food is now in a bottle marked ‘use with caution’. I spent so long fighting that one that anything more than a couple of biscuits seems impossible to take. I had a really tough meeting yesterday afternoon and promised myself a food treat afterwards. went to local cafe: all slices of cake looked too enormous. went to Waitrose bakery counter and the almond croissants seemed nearly as big as my head. eventually ended up with a single wrapped flapjack, approximately 1.5 inches by 2 inches. because that was all I wanted. I suppose I should be grateful for that hard-won moderation but sometimes I wish that the old binging still worked for me, in the same way I think sometimes that I wish I thought booze would still hit the button. to have the sweet illusion at least that it will cure my ills. too late. that train has left.”

taking a new path

worrying has always been a favourite hobby of mine. I watch my children for it like a hawk, trying to spot introspection and tummy aches for no reason. luckily they are on the whole remarkably resilient little creatures.

the antidotes to worrying often carry greater risks than the worry itself. as a teenager I used food as an antidote, mainlining chocolate Hobnobs (ack ack ack). then alcohol proved a far more powerful hammer, able to knock down any fragile wall inside me against it without a thought, until the antidote became the poison I was fighting.

and now in my twelfth month of sobriety the worry snake is winding back around me. tightening its coils, making sure of its grip.

I worry that this sobriety, so hard fought for, can slip through my fingers in a trice. in the last week or so there have been more frequent than usual…

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About greg w

I believe chocolate in virtually any configuration is the finest dessert in the history of mankind. I believe my wife is the sexiest woman in the world. I believe modern capitalism will never be replaced by a different -- or better -- form of economics. I believe in clutch hitting in baseball. I believe the Kimber 1911 .45 ACP is the finest handgun ever made in America. I believe the Mossberg Flex 500 pump-action 12 gauge shotgun is the best home defense ever made in America. I believe Tom Waits is the best songwriter of my generation. I believe unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. As CS Lewis once beautifully wrote, I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. I believe that, on balance, Christianity has done more good for humans than bad. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant, With that being said, I believe there is a profound difference between knowledge and wisdom. I believe if I yell at the TV during a Colts game, they will play better. Finally, I believe I am in long-term recovery from a number of deep-seated issues that supported and drove my addictions.