Daily Archives: September 24, 2014

repost: a story of surrender and recovery from alcoholism

This amazing post from Maggie at Sober Courage is simply beyond the pale.

In October of 1989, the “love of my life” got shot in a spectacular episode by a police man in New Orleans. That incident was the best excuse ever for me to seek oblivion. All my thinking about how God did not meddle in human affairs, about how the world was a hostile, warring place and that life was not worth suffering, came to its highest unbearable level. I wanted to drink so bad… but then I thought, sober: “I might as well kill myself.”

Please take the time to read it.

 

Sober Courage

Recently I asked several of my recovery friends if they would be interested in contributing to my blog by sharing their story. I only got one favorable response, “Of course, whatever I can do to be of service.” You see, this friend is an amazing person who despite his troublesome past has not only recovered, but has become an inspiration and a guiding light to many. His commitment to be of service to others is exceptional – I have watched him take the shoes of his feet and give them to a homeless woman!! His journey is quite powerful! You may not relate to all of the circumstances, or have never had any of the same situations in your life, but the feelings of loneliness, anger, denial, numbing out, suicidal thoughts, and despair, are often common to all of us. This is his story:

He wasn’t that bad.
A Story…

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a little perspective

10622777_723793614324046_8900651639821601128_nBeats me. I don’t recall anyone saying much of anything to me when I showed up at my first meeting almost five years ago. I do recall the non-verbalized smug glances that passed around the room when I gave my lead for the first time. I had no idea it was going to count against me that I had never:

  • slept under a bridge,
  • gone for two weeks in the same clothes without a shower,
  • quaffed the cheapest wine from a paper bag passed around as among the best of friends,
  • slept behind a dumpster after finding my gourmet evening meal there,
  • lost a wife and family (not to mention a home),
  • totaled a car,
  • lost a job, or even
  • gone to jail on a DUI or D&D.

As an aside, I did go to jail once for having long hair, but that’s totally unrelated to this entry. Make no mistake, I know there are plenty of horror stories out there. I come in contact with them on a painfully regular basis. But I wonder if it’s important for the message to come across that you’re welcome here just as you are, rather than, “You know, I’m so much more fucked up than you are. This is what real alcoholism looks like. You haven’t even come close to hitting bottom yet. You just aren’t ready for this yet. You’re gonna treat this like some kind of revolving door. Come back when you just can’t take it anymore.”

Really? In addition to signing the court card, does the secretary need to sign-off on a card saying the below designated individual is hereby officially recognized as having hit proverbial shit fan and is welcomed into Alcoholics Anonymous?

Words of wisdom? I know what not to say.