repost: “i really want to want to not drink …”

Oh… I know this feeling.

Tired of Thinking About Drinking

Things to worry about.

J sent me this: “My biggest fear is that I won’t quit wanting to drink…I really want to want to not drink.”

ok, yeah. i know this feeling. i know it entirely. i can get inside that feeling and walk around.

I have been on day 1 and day 7 and day 37 and day 287. I remember exactly how i felt. I felt like there were two versions of me: The ‘real’ version of me was the drinker … and the ‘new/shadow’ version of me walking alongside was the sober me.  it took a LONG time until i really really really felt that the new sober me was the ‘real’ me. But thankfully, while i was going along, it didn’t matter. I continued to drive along in my sober car, with both versions of me still present, and I just kept going until the fake…

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