repost: cigarette hair

This is grief

This is
stale air of a dawn bus ride
forehead pressed on bathroom tiles
numb feet in cheap boots
burning fever in a house of strangers
This is
rough coffee on an empty stomach
kissing with mouth of tears
house with mould on the walls
heated 3am litany of all your flaws
This is
highway noise in a forty-dollar pub room
silence from the one you love
cigarette hair and mouth a desert
sweat down your back at a midsummer funeral,
but this is worse.
This is worse.

From [the author]: I just feel horrendous. I have been trying to write my way out of this because writing is my thing. This is a poem about what my life is like at the moment. I can’t live like this any more. Please restart me and call this Day 1.

Reposted with permission from Tired of Thinking About Drinking

repost: the most important thing

A brief but wonderfully thoughtful post from robertif at process not an event on putting my today in its proper perspective. With everything going on, this little post was my “Godwink” today.

Process Not An Event


The next thing you do today will be the most important thing on your agenda, because, after all, you’re doing it next.

Well, perhaps it will be the most urgent thing. Or the easiest.

In fact, the most important thing probably isn’t even on your agenda.    – Seth Godin

This little piece by marketing guru Seth Godin really resonates with me.  A friend told me a bunch of years ago that he makes his decisions each day based on the assumption that it is his last day on earth.  What would he regret not having done?  In the Book of Common Prayer one of the lines in the “confessional” is asking forgiveness for things done and things left undone.

I can get just entirely too hung up on the mass of forest that I am unable to see the tree of life.  Too often I overlook the most…

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repost: good days are the only days

Reading this stellar post from Drunk Drunk Girl is a good way to get back in touch the critical parts with yourself.

So go read. Now. Yes, you.

Drunky Drunk Girl

12:54 pm

Every day’s a good day when you’re not hung over.

This morning, I was up at 8. I went for a run, walked the dogs, made a pot of coffee, and then, video-chatted with an apartment in the big city–where I’ll be headed for a month to enjoy, earn, and hopefully, plan for a future with *more* enjoyment and *more* earnings than I have now.

NONE of this would be happening if I was still drinking.

I look at drinking as a bad habit now. I don’t have time for it, literally. I would like to have a glass of wine, but…I’m not even sure I won’t be hung over after ONE glass. So, I choose to not go there. That’s where it’s at for me. I don’t yearn for the days when doing everything I did this morning was NOT EVEN ON MY RADAR. I don’t long…

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