repost from functioningguzzler: missing the pleasant numb feeling

Been there. Done that. Bought the t-shirt. Still wonder who I see when I look in the mirror every morning. But I’ve lost enough friends intentionally through drugs & alcohol that I’m sure beyond a doubt that’s not the way to go. Besides, it would be a huge imposition on those who would wonder why I simply didn’t have the courage to live or common sense to send up a flare. But this excellent post from functioningguzzler also tells me it doesn’t take much to regain our equilibrium if we are humble enough.

functioningguzzler

I’ve gotta be honest I do miss the numb buzz I used to get while I was drinking. I miss the way it could make me chill and forget about all the crazy shit my mind comes up with. So you understand I will explain a bit further some of the crazy thoughts I put myself through.

I have thought about it long and hard, since I have time now that I am not drinking, I have the lowest of low self esteem. I really care about other people and their feelings and always take time to listen to people and hear what they really are saying. But when it comes to myself I have this feeling of I couldn’t give a shit. While I was in a major low of my depression I understand how people could end it all when they get that low. Now in my mind…

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This entry was posted in innocent bystanders on by .

About greg w

I believe chocolate in virtually any configuration is the finest dessert in the history of mankind. I believe my wife is the sexiest woman in the world. I believe modern capitalism will never be replaced by a different -- or better -- form of economics. I believe in clutch hitting in baseball. I believe the Kimber 1911 .45 ACP is the finest handgun ever made in America. I believe the Mossberg Flex 500 pump-action 12 gauge shotgun is the best home defense ever made in America. I believe Tom Waits is the best song writer of my generation. I believe unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. As CS Lewis once beautifully wrote, I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. I believe that, on balance, Christianity has done more good for humans than bad. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. And I believe if I yell at the TV during a Colts game, they will play better.

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