repost from soberlearning: getting my drink on

In this amazing self-examination, patriotgirl at soberlearning steps back into the scene of one of her self-inflicted crimes. Good stuff. This is why we can fight the good fight.

SOBERLEARNING

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I have an alcoholic brain.  I can remember many evenings, thinking as I opened my bottle of wine, I am going to get trashed tonight.

I now know, that no one who has a normal relationship with alcohol thinks this way.  This is alcoholic thinking at it’s “best”.   I can’t tell you why I would feel this way some nights, and not others.  Other nights, I just drank “normally”, excessive, but not with the goal of getting obliterated.

Of course, after the evenings of obliteration the hangover and guilt were brain crushing. Self loathing would flow over me when I came to in the morning, along with the resolve to quit.  I would quit, until 4 o’clock rolled around, then I would rationalize the wine I started to pour in my glass.  You deserve it, hair of the dog, you worked hard today.  I loved that voice…

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About greg w

I believe chocolate in virtually any configuration is the finest dessert in the history of mankind. I believe my wife is the sexiest woman in the world. I believe modern capitalism will never be replaced by a different -- or better -- form of economics. I believe in clutch hitting in baseball. I believe the Kimber 1911 .45 ACP is the finest handgun ever made in America. I believe the Mossberg Flex 500 pump-action 12 gauge shotgun is the best home defense ever made in America. I believe Tom Waits is the best song writer of my generation. I believe unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. As CS Lewis once beautifully wrote, I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. I believe that, on balance, Christianity has done more good for humans than bad. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. And I believe if I yell at the TV during a Colts game, they will play better.

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