In this amazing self-examination, patriotgirl at soberlearning steps back into the scene of one of her self-inflicted crimes. Good stuff. This is why we can fight the good fight.
I have an alcoholic brain. I can remember many evenings, thinking as I opened my bottle of wine, I am going to get trashed tonight.
I now know, that no one who has a normal relationship with alcohol thinks this way. This is alcoholic thinking at it’s “best”. I can’t tell you why I would feel this way some nights, and not others. Other nights, I just drank “normally”, excessive, but not with the goal of getting obliterated.
Of course, after the evenings of obliteration the hangover and guilt were brain crushing. Self loathing would flow over me when I came to in the morning, along with the resolve to quit. I would quit, until 4 o’clock rolled around, then I would rationalize the wine I started to pour in my glass. You deserve it, hair of the dog, you worked hard today. I loved that voice…
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