Daily Archives: August 31, 2014

repost from fitfatfood: 21-day chocolate challenge

I clearly recall complaining in one of my first AA meetings that now that I was no longer drinking I was scarfing chocolate like it was 12-year-old bourbon. Everyone was quick to encourage me by saying things like, “Hey, at least it’s not alcohol” and other things to that effect. I don’t think anyone understood how upset I was at what I saw as simply trading one addiction for another. So I just really, really appreciate the 21-Day Chocolate Challenge from fitfatfood. Even though I’ve been clean and sober from alcohol for 4+ years, there are many times I feel I’ve gone simply to a more acceptable addiction.

FitFatFood- Blogging to Stay Sober

In early sobriety they tell us to do anything that keeps us sober. For many, allowing ourselves sugar cravings is a big part of that. I had a special anti-booze secret weapon of a Cadburys Twirl tucked away in my handbag to kill cravings. And it worked.

But as regular readers of this blog know, I’ve always had a problematic relationship with food and body image which has variously manifested itself over the years from anorexia to binge episodes. In early recovery in particular, my body image was terrible and that, of course, as an addict, drove me to eat sweet, comforting foods.

I was expecting to drop weight in very early recovery by virtue of cutting out thousands if calories of booze every week, but alas, I maintained the weight I’ve been for the past year or so. This got me down hugely.

I haven’t blogged on this topic…

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repost from taking a new path: covering old ground and seeing new things

Here’s where I confess my pure, unadulterated envy. Once upon a time I used to be healthy. When I was 21, my best friend and I rode our 10-speed Peugots from Vancouver, Canada down Highway 101 to Ensenada, Mexico. We trained for it for several months, riding every day, relentlessly, regardless of the weather. Our trainer had just ridden several seasons with the Brazilian bicycling team. I’ve never been so healthy again in my life. I remember it still as though it were last week, which is why taking a new path remains one of my favorite blogs.

Anyway, here’s a money quote:

as not drinking becomes routine, it is sometimes hard to balance the need to keep my sobriety fresh and vigorous with the knowledge that it is maturing and growing.

Life does indeed go on.

taking a new path

photo-66

Sunday. aaaaaaah. long run day. one of my favourite things.

the feeling as I set off for a long run is very specific. going out knowing that I will be running for an hour and a half, perhaps a bit more. it is a time when I allow myself to check out of my day to day life in a way that I do not do at any other time. it delivers the escape that alcohol promises.

I’m in training again for another half marathon and the long runs have been ramping up accordingly. up to eight miles, now. so as the mileage increases I revisit longer routes which I first ran back in November 2013.

ran one such this morning. a four miles out-and-back route. little hills till the two mile marker, when I reach an old drystone park wall backed by woods, rising up gradually to a peak…

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repost from emotionaldrinking: it’s not easy being married to an addict in recovery.

Wow. From Fern at emotionaldrinking… getting down to the heart of the matter, to quote of my generation’s decent songwriters:

I sit here contemplating my next step. I decide to read about AA and marriage and I come across enlightening words that I need to hear.

Chris M. Tatevosian, author of the book, “Life Interrupted: It’s not all about me,” struggled with MS and not alcoholism but his words ring true. He writes, “My problem was that I acted like my problems outweighed the importance of any problem or concern she had…. I felt the world owed (me) everything.”

That got me thinking.

More where that came from.

My Healing Recovery

A year into this sobriety and I feel like the journey has only begun.  AA has helped me to live a sober life and the steps are a way to continue working on myself.  I want to talk about recovery and those feelings that I buried for so many years. Unfortunately, my husband and I are at a crossroads because he doesn’t.  We are in couple’s therapy and it has uncovered emotional charged topics that my husband says are unnecessary to continue talking about.

To keep talking about it focuses on the negative, he said.  He’s done, he said.  This talking is mental abuse, he said.  I can chose to be unhappy but he is going to do something fun today, he said.  It doesn’t involve me because I’m emotionally detached and I want to be negative, he said. 

You sound angry, I said.  I’ll be here when you want…

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repost from lucy’s page: the blue dot we call home

Most of us know something about thinking outside the box. Lucy at Lucy’s Page with Soberistas does a cool job of thinking outside the planet with a big picture look at The Blue Dot We Call Home. This is good stuff.

My journey, from wine lover to sober and happy...

When I drank, I did not worry too much about my place in the cosmos, or about how we, as humans, frequently live out our lives with grandiose ideas of our own importance, when in reality all we amount to is a minuscule speck within a vast, black expanse of time and space. But, with far more thinking time on my hands and less mental cloudiness these days, I find myself contemplating such things rather a lot. I’ve realised that I am now caught up in a virtuous circle; without alcohol fogging my thoughts, I have finally acknowledged just how precious life is and this serves only to reinforce why I never wish to drink again. As a drinker, I simply never noticed those things, or was too drunk or hungover to properly consider them – thus wasting my life drunk did not strike me as anything to worry about.

Here are a…

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notable quote: c.s. lewis

“You must ask for God’s help. Even when you have done so, it may seem to you for a long time that no help, or less help than you need, is being given. Never mind. After each failure, ask forgiveness, pick yourself up, and try again. Very often what God first helps us towards is not the virtue itself but just this power of always trying again.” — Mere Christianity